So, I didn't blog yesterday and I am just getting around to it now. My one sister is in town and I spent all day yesterday with her at my parents house. I felt by the end of the day that I had been hit by a Mack truck. My mother went on and on about my weight. She has a weight problem herself but always makes me feel like a piece of you know what. I know all that is a separate issue but I feel like it impedes my weight loss. My sister is a size double zero and my mother and I are a 16. She always tells my sister how beautiful she is. Yesterday while at her house she shows me a picture of myself when I was thin and says, "see how pretty you were then." I'm sorry but I can't help but feel like poo when she does that. I wish I didn't care so much what she thought. She wants to pay for me to join the YMCA but I in no way want my weight loss to be "indebted" to her. Ugh, I am just glad this week is almost over and tomorrow morning will be my first official weigh in! Good night and TTYL!
-Meredith
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
It's All Good!
Today was a pretty good day. I kept myself very busy by job and school searching. I am currently unemployed and I am in the process of trying to find a job. I am also trying to complete my Bachelor's degree so I talked to an advisor at the University of Phoenix today. Things sound promising on the school front so that is a plus. I just wish I didn't have to pay for it- ha ha!
I took an apple and a south beach bar with me on my outing today which was really helpful. Having healthy snack foods around helps me not to run to the drive through. My husband and I went out to dinner tonight and I was soooo proud of my dinner selection. We went to an italian restaurant that makes awesome homemade pasta but I opted to have a salad. I ordered it with dressing and cheese on the side. I ended up using half of the cheese and 1/4th of the dressing. I did have dessert but hey, I think I did pretty good. I am learning to take this thing one step at a time and love all the support I am getting. TTYL!!!
-Meredith
I took an apple and a south beach bar with me on my outing today which was really helpful. Having healthy snack foods around helps me not to run to the drive through. My husband and I went out to dinner tonight and I was soooo proud of my dinner selection. We went to an italian restaurant that makes awesome homemade pasta but I opted to have a salad. I ordered it with dressing and cheese on the side. I ended up using half of the cheese and 1/4th of the dressing. I did have dessert but hey, I think I did pretty good. I am learning to take this thing one step at a time and love all the support I am getting. TTYL!!!
-Meredith
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Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Do Over Please?!?!
So, yeah I wish I could have a "do over" for last night and today. First off, I don't want followers to think I am a negative nancy but this #$^& is not easy!!!! I know you all know what I mean too. Changing your lifestyle is difficult. I have however been reading some great stuff in other blogs and I am taking the suggestions given.
I have to preface my story by telling you about my husband. He is the worlds most disciplined individual. I hope to be more like this one day. The fat girl inside of me looks forward to his 11:00 pm bedtime when I can raid the fridge and pantry. I have spent many a night gobbling up gallons of ice cream, bags of chips, you name it I probably ate it-lol! Last night I decide after he goes to bed that I will go up to redbox to rent some movies. The next thought that pops into my mind is that it couldn't hurt to swing by McDonald's down the street. I mean I have been doing pretty good right? Besides this weight loss thing is hard. WRONG!!!! Not only did I beat up on myself after I ate it but I stayed in a state of self-loathing all day! Later on I realized that I ate not because I was hungry but because I received a notice about something that was out of my control. Instead of accepting the situation for what it was I worried myself into an eating frenzy. For a total of 10 mins I was in Mcdonalds bliss. I guess you could say in some ways I am grateful for the situation because it helped me become aware of my patterns. The next time this happens I can make a different choice. Tonight I think I will get to bed early and start fresh in the morning. Thanks to everyone who has been supporting me thus far. Until tomorrow!
-Meredith
I have to preface my story by telling you about my husband. He is the worlds most disciplined individual. I hope to be more like this one day. The fat girl inside of me looks forward to his 11:00 pm bedtime when I can raid the fridge and pantry. I have spent many a night gobbling up gallons of ice cream, bags of chips, you name it I probably ate it-lol! Last night I decide after he goes to bed that I will go up to redbox to rent some movies. The next thought that pops into my mind is that it couldn't hurt to swing by McDonald's down the street. I mean I have been doing pretty good right? Besides this weight loss thing is hard. WRONG!!!! Not only did I beat up on myself after I ate it but I stayed in a state of self-loathing all day! Later on I realized that I ate not because I was hungry but because I received a notice about something that was out of my control. Instead of accepting the situation for what it was I worried myself into an eating frenzy. For a total of 10 mins I was in Mcdonalds bliss. I guess you could say in some ways I am grateful for the situation because it helped me become aware of my patterns. The next time this happens I can make a different choice. Tonight I think I will get to bed early and start fresh in the morning. Thanks to everyone who has been supporting me thus far. Until tomorrow!
-Meredith
Monday, January 3, 2011
Tired :(
Ugh, I am so damn tired! Yesterday was the first day getting back to the gym. I lifted upper body and then did about 30 mins of cardio on the treadmill. Boy am I feelin it today!! It was amazing how working out gave me so much more energy to do things around the house.
I have been eating a lot healthier lately concentrating on incorporating more fruits and veggies into my meals. Yesterday I put romaine and tomato on my sandwich. Which is something I never do! I also decided to have a clementine with my sandwich instead of goldfish or chips. Then at dinner my husband cooked pasta with a shrimp and a spicy tomato sauce. I went totally overboard and ate too much pasta. Next time I will try to be more conscious of portion sizes when it comes to foods I really love. Late night was the icing on the cake because after having what I thought was a satisfying dessert (banana with ff whip topping and lite choc syrup) I pigged out! I followed that up with two huge bowls of chocolate cheerios and a bunch of sour cream and onion goldfish! I could have killed myself-argh!
Well, today is a new day and I can learn from my mistakes. One of my favorite sayings is that, "it's progress and not perfection." So, I am making strides in the right direction and I am making a choice that today will be a better than yesterday :)
I have really appreciated all the support so far and look forward to continued support and suggestions on my journey. Have a great day everyone! Oh, and I am going to try and get some more pictures of myself up here soon.
-Meredith
I have been eating a lot healthier lately concentrating on incorporating more fruits and veggies into my meals. Yesterday I put romaine and tomato on my sandwich. Which is something I never do! I also decided to have a clementine with my sandwich instead of goldfish or chips. Then at dinner my husband cooked pasta with a shrimp and a spicy tomato sauce. I went totally overboard and ate too much pasta. Next time I will try to be more conscious of portion sizes when it comes to foods I really love. Late night was the icing on the cake because after having what I thought was a satisfying dessert (banana with ff whip topping and lite choc syrup) I pigged out! I followed that up with two huge bowls of chocolate cheerios and a bunch of sour cream and onion goldfish! I could have killed myself-argh!
Well, today is a new day and I can learn from my mistakes. One of my favorite sayings is that, "it's progress and not perfection." So, I am making strides in the right direction and I am making a choice that today will be a better than yesterday :)
I have really appreciated all the support so far and look forward to continued support and suggestions on my journey. Have a great day everyone! Oh, and I am going to try and get some more pictures of myself up here soon.
-Meredith
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Day 2!
Well, I survived the first day of my weight loss journey. I found that if I ate smaller meals every three hours I was less apt to over eat. I did feel A LOT of anxiety yesterday. It was this overwhelming feeling to want to put things in my mouth to calm my nerves. I think I eat to deal with my feelings/problems. I also found that the busier I kept myself (removing my ass from the couch) the less I thought about food! Imagine that, there is more to life than what yummy foods I should eat everyday. I think cultivating more interests and actually participating in these activities will help a lot.
I got out and ran/walked with my husband and the dogs yesterday in the pouring rain. It wasn't raining when we started but once it started boy did it pour. It actually felt good because I was sweating so much! I figure if I can just focus on moving my body everyday I will be more successful than setting myself up to exercise for x mins x times a week.
I did make the mistake of getting on the scale this morning and found that I had gone from 239.2 to 240. WTH! This always happens whenever I start exercising because I am the QUEEN of gaining muscle mass. I know it is probably water weight or something but still discouraging. From here on out my plan is to weigh in one time a week. I also want to post pictures of myself as my journey goes along. Well, I guess I need to get my day started but as always any suggestions and comments are always appreciated! Have a great day!
-Meredith
I got out and ran/walked with my husband and the dogs yesterday in the pouring rain. It wasn't raining when we started but once it started boy did it pour. It actually felt good because I was sweating so much! I figure if I can just focus on moving my body everyday I will be more successful than setting myself up to exercise for x mins x times a week.
I did make the mistake of getting on the scale this morning and found that I had gone from 239.2 to 240. WTH! This always happens whenever I start exercising because I am the QUEEN of gaining muscle mass. I know it is probably water weight or something but still discouraging. From here on out my plan is to weigh in one time a week. I also want to post pictures of myself as my journey goes along. Well, I guess I need to get my day started but as always any suggestions and comments are always appreciated! Have a great day!
-Meredith
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Yearaz!!!!
Ok. So, today is the first day of a new me. I am really scared, a lot uncomfortable, and wish I could snap my fingers into a thinner body. I just ate some oatmeal and a fiber one bar for breakfast and I already want McDonald's. AHHHHHH!!!!! Well, I knew it would be like this but I am willing to try everyday to eat healthier and exercise. I think my overeating has become a way for me to "cope" with life. I realize this "coping mechanism" is actually self destructive and if I don't stop I am gonna end up like that lady Ruby on tv. Someone actually told me that last year and I just laughed it off but it really is true. I am tired of being fat and I am ready to get my sexy back! I think one of the big keys is moving my ass off the sofa and keeping it busy. Guess I better get going. Until tomorrow....
-Meredith
-Meredith
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